Push & Pull Read online

  “No, this is perfect. Claire, this is Andrew Lawson. He’s a co-worker of mine and a long time friend,” Liam said. I extended my hand to which Andrew gave a firm, lingering shake. “I invited him over to meet you,” Liam continued as he placed his palm on the small of my back. “I think you two would get along well.”

  It was difficult not to feel awkward as Andrew proceeded to undress me with his eyes and Liam’s hand moved below my shirt.

  “I’m not sure I follow,” I lied, “Are you trying to set me up with Andrew?” The men shared a familiar laugh.

  “Not quite. Would you like a drink?” Liam asked as he guided me into the kitchen. Andrew remained in the foyer.

  “Yes. Yes, I would like a drink. And an explanation,” I spat in a hurried whisper, hoping that Andrew couldn’t hear me. “What the Hell is going on?” The scotch that he poured glistened in the sunlight warning me that it was probably too early to drink. Advice I ignored as I downed the glass in one shot.

  “Let me watch,” he said suddenly with a wanton groan. Slowly, he poured me another glass, extending his other hand to brush the hair off of my shoulder.

  “Watch…what?” I persisted. At this point my confusion was genuine until I felt another pair of hands along my waist. Easing up my sides with thumbs curling the length of my spine while Liam’s fingers traveled down, encircling my breast. Andrew moved the hair from my neck and brushed his lips along my shoulder. I took another swig of scotch allowing the alcohol to yank me back to reality.

  “No. This is crazy,” I cried, stepping away from both of them. “I hardly know either of you. What kind of woman do you take me for?” The words burned me as they left my mouth. What kind of woman was I? The kind who seduces another woman’s man and hides the pleasure she gains from it under a business name. That’s what kind. My conversation with Jill returned to me. Cringing at the thought of Lucca’s rejection, I took another swig. Maybe I was out of touch. Maybe I was forgetting it was all a game and I needed to be retaught the rules. Liam and Andrew continued to stare, unabashed by their plans to have their way with me. And I couldn’t believe for one second that I was entertaining the proposition until Andrew unbuttoned his shirt.

  “Yes.” The words barely tumbled out before Liam had me pinned against the refrigerator. His mouth pressed firmly against mine, parting my lips so he could get a better taste. Andrew peeled off his shirt and started unbuttoning my jeans. His hand slipped down past my waist band. Instantly I was wet. This was happening. My mind was running through every scenario as Andrew’s fingers probed the thin jersey of my thong. Liam stripped off my shirt and began flicking his tongue across my erect nipples. I stifled a moan but Andrew caught it just in time to sneak past my thong and sink a finger inside of me. My body quivered and I bucked my hips against his hand.

  “You like that?” he groaned in my ear, moving me away from the fridge and bending me over the island. I nodded ferociously, biting my lip to keep from crying out. The cold marble counter top made my nipples even harder as Andrew wrapped a hand in my hair and pushed my face down. He grabbed the crotch of my thong and yanked it down out of the way.

  Another finger slipped inside of me. Liam had stepped away, almost nude aside from his pants which he began to unbutton. I hoped he’d be inside of me before this was over. Andrew jerked my head back, cramming in another finger.

  “Oh, fuck,” I cried out, placing my hands over the edge of the counter.

  “Eat her,” Liam said from across the room, so low I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it. It was a command. An incredible warmth spread across my body as Andrew buried his face between my thighs. His tongue rolled leisurely over my clit before flicking it back and forth and his fingers continued to jam in and out of me. I tilted my hips upward, hungrily meeting each thrust, soaking in the sensation. A primal urge took over me.

  “Fuck me,” I gasped. I felt him smirk in between licks. He pulled his head back allowing a rush of cold air to fill the space.

  “I’m sorry. What was that?” He called, withdrawing his fingers from me.

  “Oh, no…please. Please, fuck me.” I peeked over my shoulder to see him rising to his feet. While he removed his pants I looked back at Liam who was stroking his erection now. He looked bigger each time his hand ran the length of his shaft. A sudden sharp smack on my ass brought me back to Andrew. His cock hovered eagerly near my wet folds. He’d done an incredible job prepping me for what he was about to do and I ached with anticipation.

  “Should I?” Andrew asked, pressing his fingers into my mouth. He hadn’t intended for me to answer, only to have me taste the blissful havoc he had wreaked on my body. His fingers were practically drenched with my bittersweet juices.

  “Turn her around. Let me see her pussy,” Liam demanded. Andrew obliged as he wrapped his hand back in my hair and forcefully pivoted me from the island. Within seconds, I was bent over in front of Liam like a little rag doll. The ridges of his fingertips scrolled carefully over the curve of my ass. My body erupted into chills. Liam trailed up the inside of my thighs, probing a finger into my depths, before withdrawing to have a taste.

  “She tastes ready,” he concluded with a strange laugh. His charismatic nature was practically gone, replaced by an authoritative tone. Is this what he did for a living? Find willing women and watch them fuck his friends? We were more alike than I thought. Andrew reduced me to my knees, propping me carefully on all fours as he stroked the length of my spine. His hands stopped securely on my hips, squaring me for entry. I wanted to order him to split me open, to fill me with every last drop, but I wasn’t in charge now. Liam was. And his eyes were locked on mine, calculating my every move.

  “Finish her,” Liam moaned, still stroking himself as Andrew slid inside of me. The sensation left me breathless. Every inch rippled through me slowly, filling the emptiness within until his balls pressed against my hard bud. The tip of his shaft edged the back of me, sending me into a frenzy. I cried out but Andrew held me still. His hips rocked dutifully while he eased his grip on my hips and slipped a hand down between my legs. His index finger nuzzled against my clit as he pumped in and out of me. I bit my lip to keep from moaning uncontrollably.

  “Smack her ass!” Liam barked, giving my left cheek a stern slap. Andrew followed suit and popped me hard causing my nether region to gush.

  “Does that turn you on?” Andrew panted in my ear as he thrusted in and out of me. “Do you like being spanked like a naughty slut?” I bit my lip again causing another hard smack.

  “Yes! Yes! Fucking spank me,” I cried out, tilting my hips anxiously back into his. The thrusting became subsequently harder and tears pricked the corners of my eyes. His hands twisted in my hair as he arched my back, pounding me. I writhed with pleasure on the cold tile floor practically begging for more. He commanded my body with each touch and I didn’t think I could hold out much longer. I could feel my g-spot tingle as the tip of his cock ground mercilessly on it and I cried out his name.

  “Cum for me,” he said breathlessly. The way his body tensed I could feel he was close too. He pressed his thumb along my clit and that was it. My body seized immediately as my juices released, dripping down the insides of my thighs. Andrew wrapped his arms around my rib cage while I shook, keeping me from collapsing to the floor. He pumped in and out of me a few more times before a definitive groan escaped his lips. His hips grew gravely still and I could feel him twitching inside of me.

  Our tired forms lay strewn across the floor, waiting for some semblance of life to return. Liam smiled. He clapped his hands together slowly and pulled his pants back up.

  “Well done,” he commended us, “You gave quite a show.”

  “Was it good for you?” I asked as I crawled towards him. He grabbed me by the wrists and easily pulled me to my feet. Our bodies were within inches of each other. I felt his eyes graze my nakedness, but he refrained from touching.

  “It was,” he said, giving a sort of half smile as Andrew climbed to his feet. He gave
me a soft smack on the ass and kissed my neck.

  “She’s so tight, Lee. You really should give her a go,” he teased, departing to the other side of the kitchen to retrieve our clothes.

  The three of us dressed in near silence before Liam mentioned he had to get back to the office.

  “Bye, Claire,” Andrew said as he took a pen and scrawled his number along my hand, “You were a real treat.” Liam kissed me on the cheek and the next thing I knew, I was on an elevator heading back to the life I knew before level forty two.

  4

  The sound of my alarm ripped me from a smoldering dream, but it wasn’t really a dream. What took place at Liam’s apartment the other day was something so far out of my realm that I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. And I couldn’t keep lying to myself anymore. To be fair, it wasn’t a threesome, though I would have enjoyed more interaction from Liam. It was a moment of passion. Insecurity. Longing. It may have been what I wanted at the time, but I couldn’t help but feel like an outsider to the memory. So far detached from my true identity that I couldn’t even recognize myself. Had I slipped too far? Reality was waiting and I had an appointment to keep.

  I arrived at Padua shortly before 12. It was the last place I wanted to meet considering that I’d been there days before, sitting in a booth, getting shot down. But I was surprised to see how different it looked in the daylight, like a stadium void of its fans. The way the space absorbed the sun was inviting and kept me focused on the task at hand. She was already waiting for me in the bar. A petite brunette with a pinched face. I recognized her from several print ads and noted that her career must have taken off if she was seeking me. We introduced ourselves briefly before she got down to business.

  “His name is Damien,” she started, sliding a picture across the table. “We met in Italy and he’s here on a work visa. He said he couldn’t live without me so he moved here to be with me. But I…”

  “Am afraid he’s using you for permanent residency?” I asked. Her hand cast shamefully across her forehead.

  “I shouldn’t feel this way,” she admitted in between sips of wine, “We love each other. I mean, I know he loves me. And I hate that I’m even doing this but I’ve heard you’re the best. Can you help?” I loathed myself for agreeing. Call me a cynic, but I had yet to encounter a foreign fling that didn’t end in heartache. Even fresh off rejection, I knew I could handle this with my eyes closed. We chatted over his schedule and discussed compensation before she flagged the bartender for her check.

  “Don’t worry about. I got it,” I insisted. The pangs of guilt tickled my stomach as she gave a sweet smile and departed. I nursed my drink a while longer, mulling over the assignment when the bartender circled back around.

  “I’ll take that check now,” I said, digging my hand into my bag.

  “Not necessary. The boss got it,” he replied, tossing his head back. I glanced over my shoulder and there he was. The only person in the barren joint, smiling at me like a prize. We hadn’t conversed since our prior meeting and for a moment I was floored. Scotch never seemed so interesting. An internal debate ensued as I feigned interest in the television overhead but ultimately I knew I couldn’t ignore him. Keeping my eyes fixed upon his, I sauntered towards him. His finger nosed the edge of his glass and he smirked as I sat.

  “Hello, Liam,” I said, taking a seat across from him.

  “Can I be honest?” he said before I had a chance to give him a piece of my mind. “It wasn’t good for me.”

  “What?”

  “You asked the other day if it was good for me. I thought about it and it wasn’t.” His tone was flat, matter of fact. My ego took another hard ass kicking and my cheeks burned. I hoped he hadn’t noticed.

  “So, that’s why you didn’t call,” I laughed, tossing my hands up in the air sarcastically before rising to my feet. His hand caught my wrist and pulled me gently back down.

  “It wasn’t good for me because I wanted you.” His words were hardly a whisper.

  “That was your choice and you opted to make it a spectator sport,” I coldly reminded him, “This clearly wasn’t your first time. Do you just proposition strange women to sleep with you and co-workers?”

  “On occasion, yes,” he said shamelessly, “but it’s not like that.”

  “Really, Liam? What’s it like?”

  “You’re feisty, adventurous. Hell, you like scotch,” he laughed, gesturing at the empty glass poised in front of me. “Once things got out of hand something felt off and I didn’t like it.”

  “You didn’t like me being with another man.” My words zeroed in on the heart of his lament.

  “No.”

  “Look, Liam. You’re nice enough but we don’t know each other, so let’s not kid ourselves. Giving me your number in a bar hardly qualifies you to have a say over who I choose to be with and-”

  “You’re right,” he admitted, holding his hand up to yield my speech, “but I want that to change. I want to know you and I don’t want you to see Andrew again.” My eyes narrowed as I studied his expression. His exterior remained calm and arrogant but his eyes were different. A subtle longing hung within the depths. A longing perhaps he tried to ignore when he looked in the mirror every day. I wondered if he felt as hollow inside as I did at times.

  “What are you doing tonight?” He asked, dodging his gaze towards his watch.

  “Why?”

  “Go to dinner with me.”

  My mind hesitated before the mouth spoke. No. My lips had already formed the word but my head held fast to it. I twisted my jaw back and forth, trying to free myself but I was suspended in time.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I managed. Not a no, but certainly not a yes. The man had already slipped a business card in my pocket and lured me to his apartment once. How I thought he would stop at a maybe is beyond me. Every time I tried to push him away he pulled me back in.

  “See you at 7? I’ll pick you up,” he offered.

  “You don’t even know where I live,” I reminded him as I finished the last leg of scotch. Before I could even put the glass down he’d already extended his pen.

  “Do you trust me?”

  5

  The clock edged towards seven and I moved around my apartment sitting on practically every piece of furniture. It was all I could do to calm myself. One moment complete ease would cycle over me before reality drowned it out. Five minutes and he would be here. Five more minutes to wonder if this is what I wanted. I felt sick. Before the incident in Liam’s apartment it had been nearly a year since I’d been with a man, much less even had a connection with one. I had become consumed in my career in the most unhealthy sense. Women of my stature were married to their careers, working long hours and chasing their dreams. I was chasing men I had no intention of catching.

  A sudden knock sounded on the door and I gathered myself. Smoothing my hands over the hem of my little black dress, I opened it.

  “You’re overdressed,” Liam grinned, handing me a bottle of wine. I took it from him trying not to seem too surprised.

  “And you’re in pajamas. Did you drive here like that?” I asked giving him the once over. His flannel bottoms slouched casually on his hips and his gray v-neck pulled against his chest. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was drunk.

  “Yes ma’am.” He gave a brief twirl before winking, “Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”

  “I’m confused, really. If this is your way of staying the night, it’s not working.” My arms folded defensively across my chest as I attempted to look serious. I was, but a part of me was laughing at this ridiculous display. I rested the wine on the table, noting it was a Chateau Lafluer. Expensive.

  “It’s not. I just wanted to try something different,” he said, drawing my hand into his. For some reason the gesture made my stomach cartwheel, as if he’d never touched me before. This seemed more intimate. Sincere. I pushed the thought out of my mind but allowed him to linger.

  “Define diffe
rent.”

  “Dinner and a movie?” he smiled.

  “That’s not different.”

  “It is with me.” I wasn’t sure I followed until he pulled out his phone and started dialing. Several moments later he hung up and Thai takeout was on the way. “Don’t you hate first dates?” he asked. Truth be told, it had been a while since I’d been on one. And even then the ones I’d engaged in were for business purposes. “You dress up, trying to impress the other person, and for what?”

  “Love.” The word seemed foreign and rushed as it plummeted from my mouth.

  “How often does it become that though?” he pressed, drawing closer to me. The warmth of his breath spread across my neck causing me to shiver. I shrugged, conceding his point.

  “This wine looks expensive,” I said, trying to change the subject. I grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and began to pour. As I handed him a glass he gave an appreciative nod.

  “You need to change into something more comfortable or I’ll look like an ass.”

  “You already do,” I smiled, clinking my glass against his before heading into the bedroom. Dammit. What was I going to wear? Living alone and having zero sex life wasn’t exactly conducive to proper nighttime attire. I opened my drawer. Sports bras, tank tops, yoga pants. Yoga pants it is, I thought. Considering the level of comfort I wanted to achieve I ditched the bra and grabbed a sweatshirt instead. He wanted comfortable and that’s exactly what I was going to give him.

  When I emerged he looked up from the television and gave a strange smile. One I’d never seen before. It conveyed no emotion but held a world of secrets.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Nice yoga pants,” he laughed, wagging his eyebrows at me. I grabbed a pillow off the couch and smacked him with it as he pulled me into his lap. We struggled against one another in our playful jest, his hands wrapped around my wrist, trying to keep me from beating him with the pillow. My sides ached from laughter when he stopped, sliding his hand along my ass and down the back of my leg. He looked serious. My stomach started to cartwheel again.